Life As We Know It

Since I was a little girl, I have been absolutely in love with children. At church on Sundays I would walk over to the moms that had babies and ask if I could hold them until church was over. It didn't bother me that I didn't always know these people super well, all that mattered to me was that if I was lucky, I had a little one to hold for an hour, or as long as the baby would let me until it was ready to go back to it's mom. This started when I was probably 8 or 9 and has continued on throughout my life. No matter where I am, if there is a baby in sight you can find me with that baby already in my arms, or trying to coerce the mother into letting me hold her child. A lot of my younger years were spent babysitting on the weekends and spending time with all of my little cousins, because that is where I truly have always found the most joy. There is something so simple and satisfying about holding a baby in your arms and knowing that you are providing them protection and comfort.

Now that I'm older and its my turn to be the mom, I have spent a lot of time thinking about motherhood and how much it changes your life. I am the kind of person who is often lazy, always a little behind schedule and it takes a lot for me to be motivated about something. But when I hold a baby, I feel my entire attitude change and all my worries flow from me. I breathe in their love and sweet innocence and I know that as I take care of them, they are content, and so am I.

I have spent a lot of my life looking around at other people who seem to have all these skills and talents, and wondering when mine would show up. Should I be trying new things all the time and hoping that one of these days I'll actually catch on to something and just love it? Am I not surrounded by the right people? Is something just wrong with me? Maybe I'll find my passion when I have children? Or.. maybe my purpose in life is to simply be a mother and to love these little people with every part of me, knowing that I am their's and they are mine.

I don't think that being a mother will be easy, I can already envision all the sleepless nights and days filled with exhaustion and dirty diapers. I can see myself feeling lucky just to get in a three minute shower. I recognize that there is an entire world of chaos that comes with having children, and to a lot of people it is daunting and completely undesirable. Lots of people say that they want to "live a little" before they have kids. But to me, having children and raising a family IS living. Children bring me peace. I feel the love and compassion that I have to share and I am am ready to give every moment of every day to this child that needs me. 

Nothing in the world feels more right, than for me to be a wife and a mother. I was fortunate to be raised with extremely loving parents with assurance that they loved each other, as well as my siblings and me. I am so lucky to share life with my best friend and to start in this new adventure together, knowing that we will create that same feeling for our children that we both had growing up. Life as we know it will be forever different, and that is the most exciting thought in the world!