Emerging from the Fog

When I started my blog shortly after Adam and I were married I pictured myself posting weekly, and having so much to say. Then I had a baby, and my free time coincided with her nap time, and all I could manage to do during that time was nap myself; I was exhausted, and nothing else seemed to matter. Then I became so distracted by motherhood that I actually forgot my blog existed. Well here I am, emerging from the fog once more and as always I don't know how long it'll be till next time. But the good news is, life is getting easier around here and this whole parent thing is really starting to come naturally to us! Whew!

 Leila is 3 months old now, and has turned into such an amazing and beautiful baby. She is very laid back, happy most all the time and sleeps between 7 and 10 hours straight at night! We fall more and more in love with her everyday. She smiles and coos at her admirers and constantly wants to be held and interacted with. She is so interested in her surroundings, especially bright colors and lights. She rolled over for the first time, having never been prompted by us to do so and now she is getting kinda good at it! She tries talking almost constantly, even when no one is looking at her, she just likes to talk. (I wonder who she got that from....?) And she really loves music! Especially when Adam is playing his guitar. It relaxes her and she usually falls asleep to it at night.

Being a mother is an indescribable feeling. My heart overflows with love when she looks at me and smiles, or when she just wants to be held and snuggled. I constantly tell Adam that I cant believe we made her, she is just amazing! Our life has changed so much for the better and we are truly loving every minute of parenthood.

This is what Leila has been up to the past couple months:

(I apologize in advance for the overload of pictures, but we are kind of obsessed.)

She is such a smiley girl! We love her chubby cheeks.

2 Months old!

Leila's first salon experience!

Leila's first time at a Restaraunt!

 They are so cute!

 Leila didn't get the memo on this one that pictures are for smiling...

She is always sucking on her fingers and hands, she finally figured out to do it, not just by accident!

 Lake day, she loves her daddy!

 Meeting Great Aunt and Uncle Sandy and Tim!

Cousin time!

Spending time with her grandpa!

 Kiss the bear...?

 Or eat him?

3 Months Old!

She is getting to be such a big girl!

As always, thanks for reading! Happy Sunday! 

Leila Jane Bettger- Our Mother's Day Baby!

I know this is a little delayed, but better late then never, right? Maybe its because I've been busy being a mom, or maybe it's because reliving the day I gave birth makes me literally feel pain all over again; but I've been putting off posting my birth story and I'm so glad I finally did it! Yesterday was the 6 week mark since our daughter's birth, and since she was born, life has been a roller coaster!  We adore her and she is so much fun, but it definitely took a little while to get to this point, where we can somewhat sit back and just enjoy her!

Leila Jane Bettger was born on Mother's Day, May 11th, 2014 at 12:55 pm weighing 7 lbs 8 oz and measuring 20 1/2 inches. I was due May 15th and besides being told that I was dilated 2 1/2 centimeters a couple days before, I was showing no signs of giving birth anytime soon! I kept telling Adam that I felt I was probably going to go a week or so over.

 All of that changed on the morning of May 11th, when I woke up a little after 7 am to go to the bathroom and on my way there, my water broke! At the time, I wasn't quite sure that that's what had exactly happened. So being my typical self, I called my mom before I called the doctor. (Because most of the time it feels like she has a better idea of what's going on than anyone else! And she also had a seven hour drive ahead of her in order to be there when the baby was born.) After talking to the doctor, we decided to go to the hospital to get checked out and know exactly what was going on. We went to the hospital and found out that my water was definitely broken and I was having some inconsistent contractions. I wasn't feeling any pain at all, just some mild cramping. Based off that information we were told that I was in very early labor and since we lived only a few minutes away, we could go back home if I wanted to be more comfortable until the real contractions kicked in which likely wouldn't be for quite a while. I liked the idea of being in the comfort of my own home as long as I could, because I would surely spend hours in that hospital room trying to push my baby out and I was a little nervous!

 After getting home it didn't take very long before I was feeling extremely uncomfortable and in an intense amount of pain. We called the doctor periodically to tell her how I was doing and she reassured us that what I was feeling was completely normal and to just sit back and relax as much as possible until I was ready to go back to the hospital because I was definitely still a ways away! I reminded her that I wanted, no NEEDED an epidural once I got to the hospital and she reassured me that I would be able to get one, whenever we decided to go back. After a very short bath and some agonizing pain, Adam made the decision that we definitely needed to go to the hospital right away. With much difficulty getting out the door and a very unpleasant car ride we were at the hospital, admitted into a room and told that the baby was coming out right then. Adam told them I needed an epidural and they said it was too late and that our baby would be in our arms very soon. That was definitely NOT my plan at all. The thought of even more pain than I was already in was so scary, and mom was still a few hours away. I was not ready! Well, ready or not it was happening. After 30-45 minutes of pushing and the most excruciating pain that I have ever experienced in my life, our little Leila Jane was in my arms and it was over! I couldn't believe what had just happened and I was in shock. It took less than 6 hours from the moment my water broke to be completely done, but even more crazy was that I was only actually feeling pain for about 4 hours, and I only pushed for a short while and she was out! I went from zero to sixty in a short amount of time and I did it completely natural. Although it was the hardest and certainly the most painful experience I have ever had, I am so lucky that it happened so fast and to have had my loving husband with me physically and emotionally every step of the way. Had it not been for him I have no idea how I'd have gotten through that day. He is the best!

The shock I was in after labor lasted several days, along with lots of crying before I could really grasp the fact that I was a real live mom, and it wasn't a dream. My mom stayed in town for the first two weeks to help us adjust to our new life and we needed her so badly! We learned so much from her during that time and the support she gave us was the best gift we could have been given. After Adam going back to work and my mom going back home, I was scared to be home with Leila for an entire day by myself and I doubted my ability to care for her on my own. It didn't take long for me to realize that not only could I handle it, but that this is what I have wanted my entire life and I was actually pretty good at it!

From the moment our baby girl was born, everyone has been in shock with how healthy she is and how she is just all around a good baby. She passed all her tests at the hospital with flying colors, breastfeeds and gains weight extremely well, cries very little, and despite her weird sleep times, she often sleeps for 5-6 hours at a time. Although exhausting at times, I cannot put into words the love and joy that I feel when I get her out of bed to feed and she isn't crying or fussing, just looking at me in awe, so happy to be in my arms and to have our quiet time together. Being a mom is different than I expected, and better in every way. Adam and I cannot have imagined our daughter any more perfect than she turned out to be and how lucky are we that she is ours, and we get to keep her forever?? We often question if this is real life because she is so perfect it seems impossible that we made her, and that she truly belongs to us.

Going home from the hospital and her clothes were WAY too big!

 One Month Old!

She loves being in her car seat! 

Happy Monday!

The Countdown is on!

18 days until my due date and I just have to say that I'm completely over being pregnant! I want to feel like a normal person again, I want to feel like I can take care of myself. I don't need special treatment from everyone, all the time. Friends, and even strangers are always letting me cut them in line, offering to carry things for me or help me with anything they can think of; and at home, I often need help doing the smallest tasks. Adam ties my shoes for me because I can't bend over, he pushes me up or lifts me off the couch or out of bed. He lifts and carries anything and everything and when we go to the store, his arms are full of just about all that we are buying, (we never seem to think we need a cart) even if that means he almost drops it all!

Don't get me wrong, I have definitely appreciated all the love and kindness that I have received over the past 8 months, and I absolutely realize that this is the last time in my life where I will be getting this much attention because as soon as that baby makes an appearance, she will take center stage. But, I am SO okay with that! I just want to have someone else to focus my attention on and take care of, rather than feeling sorry for myself when I feel helpless, in pain, exhausted... you name it! I have waited my entire life for my OWN baby. I love children and have always enjoyed babysitting and playing with other people's kids, but I am tired of giving them back! I want to have my own. I want one that comes home with me and my husband everyday. I want to be the one that they want when they are sad, I want to be the mom! So fortunately for me, our baby will be here in a few weeks, and knowing that is the only thing getting me through this last bump in the road.

Now that I'm not working anymore, (which makes time go by a lot slower in case you were wondering...) I have had the time to clean and reorganize our little studio apartment to fit a baby, and all that comes along with one! Everyone talks about how in the last month of your pregnancy you experience "nesting". As tired and unmotivated as I have been feeling, I was afraid that instinct wouldn't kick in for me and that the baby would come home from the hospital to a place that is not ready for her. However, what I found is that after getting home from a long weekend out of town and unpacking the insane amount of gifts that we received at my family baby shower, our entire house was completely filled with baby stuff. That was all I needed for the excitement to kick in and to realize that this is all very real and we really are having a baby who will be here very soon, and I better get my butt in gear! With clothes to wash and organize, a bed to set up, blankets and toys, bottles and pacifiers and so much more to put away, I had my work cut out for me! 10 hours of motivation was all I needed, and Adam came home from work to a completely new house that looks like its ready for a baby! 

Here are a few pictures from our weekend out of town with my family for my birthday and my second baby shower:

As you can see, I received a ridiculous amount of gifts! I have a huge family. My mom has 5 siblings and my dad has 8, which means lots of aunts and cousins attended as well as both grandmas and some close friends. Lot's of "oohing and ahhing" at all the cute clothes, making it so much fun to open every gift. All who attended were extremely generous which made it so easy for Adam and me; we didn't have to buy anything after this shower! (Thank you again to everyone that was a part of it!)

 Cute cousins! Brooklyn, Chloe and Allison

 Birthday Dinner with my family at Red Robin!

 A fun get together at Scott and Lora's with lots of cousins, and they sang happy birthday to me AGAIN!

I had to put this last picture of Chloe on here, just because she is so adorable.

Also, here is the most recent picture of my belly. It's getting extremely big! Everyday it seems to grow so much. I still don't see though, how a whole baby could fit in there... just seems like it would be so cramped! 

With all that being said, I really am grateful for where I am at in life. A happy family, a supportive, loving and hardworking husband, and new innocent life that will surely brighten the lives of all those around her. I have always wanted what that I have now, and sometimes it doesn't seem real. Thank you to everyone for being so gracious throughout my entire pregnancy. I can only hope that in the future I will be able to give back even half the amount of help and love that I have been given during this time. 

Thank you for reading! Happy Sunday :)